Parade is the fourth episode of the second series of the sitcom Bottom, it first aired on October 22nd 1992
The episode starts with the pair going to a police station to take part in an identity parade for theft a handbag, Spudgun and Dave Hedgehog arrived don't know why they are their until Spudgun's mother Mrs Potato enters and its revealed he took the handbag, Chief Inspector Grobbelaar orders hr to be taken round the back to give her a good drubbing much to her own dismay.
At The Lamb and Flag Richie and Eddie arrive to spend the £8 they got for taking part in the identity parade they see there is a new barmaid,the two pretend to be health and safety officers in order to get free food and drinks. Spudgun, Dave Hedgehog and Mrs. Potato are also posing as health and safety officers, and are planning their next identity parade that afternoon. Richie tries to chat up the barmaid complimenting her on her "short summer frock" and asking whether she uses Timotei shampoo. While doing so, he claims he was a soldier in the Falklands War. This catches the attention of a nearby drinker, who actually fought in the war, who starts questioning him.
Meanwhile, the toilet door bursts open, and Tight-Mouthed Larry, the local Bookie, staggers drunkenly into the bar and collapses, vomiting all over the floor. The Falklands veteran begins questioning Richie again, and shows him his service medal. Richie is shocked and doesn't know what to say. The war veteran shows Richie that he lost his leg in the war and now has a false leg made of carved wood. He carries on questioning Richie and works out that he was lying about being in the Falklands War. Richie shows the veteran his appendix scar. This doesn't impress the veteran, and beats him up. The bar maid offers him a drink and Richie still talks about fighting ten long years in the Falklands war and soon the conversation switches to how Richie has never done it with a bird,Richie says he has done it mentally and tells the veteran its good job he didn't hit him with the arm with his bicep but the Veteran beats him up again, soon the Presently, Tight-Mouthed Larry wakes up and tells the entire pub of a horse, Sad Ken, that is certain to win despite having 100/1odds. He tells everyone that it is a secret and to forget it. Larry leaves the pub.
Richie is left lamenting the fact that he and Eddie have only £16 between them to put on the horse, and openly admits he wishes he had a huge wad. Eddie then points out that perhaps a great big pile of cash would be more useful in the circumstances and the two go to the toilets, where Eddie laughs at Richie's small penis, they plan to steal the war veteran's leg, take it to a pawnbroker, sell it, place the proceeds on Sad Ken, buy the leg back with the winnings and keep the profit. They leave the toilets to find that the veteran has fallen asleep. Eddie runs over and tries to remove his leg, before realising he is twisting the veteran's real leg. Richie takes over and unfastens the false leg, and sends Eddie to the pawnbroker to sell the leg and place the bet. Richie starts feeding the veteran alcohol with a funnel to keep him asleep.
At Harry's (Ted) Pawnshop, there is a crowd of people selling various items to raise stake money for the horse race. Spudgun is trying to sell a rat, claiming it is a mink. Eddie enters with the leg. Harry says it must be worth at least £2,500, but offers Eddie £1.50. Eddie blackmails Harry into giving him £500 for it.
Back in the pub, the war veteran wakes up, and says that he feels completely legless and wants to go for a walk to clear his head. Richie points out that he doesn't know the half of it and persuades him to stay in his seat by asking to hear some war stories. In the bookie's, Eddie places "£500, on the nose on sad ken", leading the cashier to ask if he would like to pay tax. Eddie, confused, informs him that of course he wouldn't and points out that it's a ridiculous question before going to watch the race with the rest of the drinkers. Sad Ken, who is blind and only has three legs, runs the wrong way and falls over, then is shot along with his jockey.
Eddie returns to the pub and explains that Sad Ken didn't win, and now they have no money to buy the leg back with. Tight-Mouthed Larry and Dick Head, the pub landlord, enter the bar with a pile of money and reveal that the Sad Ken tip had been a scam, and the new barmaid had been Dick's niece, Veronica.
The pair go back into the toilet and plan to mug the next person who enters. A man enters who they start to beat up, but it turns out to be Chief Inspector Grobbelaar. The episode ends back in the police station, with Richie and Eddie in an identity parade, where Eddie demands to see a, preferably naked female, lawyer. Chief Inspector Grobbelaar goes down the line up and he picks them out as the men who assaulted him, and the other police officers start beating up Richie and Eddie and that ends the episode
Andy De La Tour
This is the first episode set outside the flat
Although this episode is partly set in The Lamb and Flag Dick doesn't appear until the last few minutes of the episode, this is the only time this happens
This episode marks the only appearance of Chief Inspector Grobbelaar,Spudgun's mother Mrs Lil Potato, Dick's niece Veronica as well as Harry and Tight Mouthed Larry
This is the second time policemen are seen, its also the first in which we see the inside of a police station
This is the second time Richie is hit by a policeman the first was in the previous series 2 episode Burglary
This is the first time we see the inside of a betting shop and a pawn shop in the show
This is the second episode where the most characters and people appear in a single episode the first was the first series episode Apocalypse
This is the only episode to be filmed in the most locations
Its the second time Richie and Eddie are seen in the Lamb and Flag Pub toilet together, the first was in the first series 1 episode Smells
In this episode its revealed that during the war Spudgun was unemployed and lived round the corner from the dole office
This is the second time characters acknowledge Richie has a small penis, in this case the war veteran and Dick's niece Veronica,
Its the second time Richie and Eddie bet on a horse the first time was in the first series episode Accident
It was said Richie and Eddie needed £16 to bet on Sad Ken, after getting £500 from the war veteran's wooden leg he bets the whole lot on the horse instead of the £16 he was meant to bet on for it